Finding Strength in Disagreement By Mark Wager

Finding Strength in Disagreement

By Mark Wager

Recently during a leadership workshop I was facilitating, one participant posed a question that resonates with many managers: “What do I do when I have to enforce a decision I don’t agree with?” This situation is one of the most challenging a leader can face, particularly when senior leaders make decisions that must be implemented by frontline and middle managers. Ideally, we hope these situations are rare, but they do occur, and I have personally encountered them more than once. Here, I’ll share my approach and insights for navigating such situations with integrity and strength.

Step One: Reflect on Your Initial Reaction

The first step is to challenge your own response to the decision. Ask yourself honestly: is my discomfort justified, or is it a product of a broader dissatisfaction? Sometimes, disagreements arise because we’re viewing decisions through a lens clouded by frustration or discontent. Perhaps it’s less about the decision itself and more about how you feel in your current role or the organisation overall.

If you find that deeper issues are colouring your judgment, it’s time for self-reflection. Are you genuinely concerned about the decision, or is this discomfort a sign that you’re out of alignment with your position or the organisation’s values? Recognising this distinction can be empowering and can shape how you respond, guiding you toward constructive action.

Step Two: Seek Understanding

In complex organisations, information often flows unevenly, and decisions made at higher levels may seem confusing to those without the full picture. When you disagree with a decision, it’s essential to seek clarification from those who made it. A genuine inquiry can reveal aspects of the decision you may not have considered or been privy to. Approach the conversation with an open mind, and ask questions to fully understand the rationale behind the decision.

Remember, it’s challenging to defend a decision if you don’t understand it yourself. The more insight you have, the better you’ll be able to explain it to your team, helping them to see the bigger picture and providing the stability they need.

Step Three: The Morality Check

Once you’ve sought clarity and reflection, it’s time to ask a more profound question: does the decision align with your personal and professional values? In other words, is it morally right? Leaders bear a responsibility not just to follow orders but to do what’s right.

One way to assess this is to apply the “newspaper test.” Imagine that tomorrow morning, the decision appears on the front page of a national newspaper. How would you feel if your family, friends, and colleagues saw this decision associated with your name? Would it make you proud, or would it bring shame? While this test is simple, it cuts to the heart of what leadership is about – doing what you can stand behind, even under scrutiny.

This stage is critical because, as leaders, our moral compass guides not only our decisions but also the example we set for others. Our teams look to us for guidance on what is acceptable and right. If a decision doesn’t pass this test, it may warrant deeper action.

Step Four: Supporting Decisions You Disagree With but Find Ethical

Let’s assume you’ve decided that the decision, while perhaps flawed, is not morally wrong. At this point, it’s essential to communicate any reservations you have constructively. The best senior leaders value respectful and honest feedback, even when it challenges their own decisions. Voice your concerns clearly and respectfully, focusing on the decision’s potential impacts rather than on your personal feelings.

Once you’ve expressed your concerns and a final decision is made, your role shifts to one of loyalty. Even when we disagree, part of being a cohesive team means rallying behind a decision and supporting it fully. This loyalty doesn’t imply blind obedience; instead, it shows commitment to the larger purpose and respect for the chain of command. Leadership requires balance, and sometimes that means supporting a course of action you wouldn’t personally choose – because no team can move forward if everyone is pulling in different directions.

Step Five: Standing Firm When the Decision Is Morally Wrong

If, however, you determine that the decision is not just a poor one but one that crosses ethical boundaries, you may be called upon to take a stand. This is one of the rare moments when leadership requires extraordinary courage, and the advice you need to hear may differ from what you want to hear.

In cases of morally questionable orders, I advise documenting the situation. Request the directive in writing and clearly outline your concerns in a documented form, whether that’s in a follow-up email or a formal memo. This paper trail serves multiple purposes: it protects your integrity, clarifies your position, and provides accountability if the issue escalates.

If necessary, escalate your concerns to a higher level within the organisation. Such a step should never be taken lightly, but when faced with an unethical situation, leaders are obligated to act. Remember, true leadership is about integrity, even when standing alone.

The Strength to Do What’s Right

Saying no is never easy, especially when the consequences are unknown. But here’s a fundamental truth: leadership is not about comfort. It’s about doing what’s right when it matters most. The best leaders stand apart because they are not merely doing things right but doing the right things.

In every leadership role, you’ll face moments that test your character. When those times come, remember that courage isn’t the absence of fear but the willingness to act in alignment with your values, regardless of the risks. And while the discomfort of challenging authority may feel daunting, standing by your principles will provide a foundation of integrity you can rely on throughout your career.

Reflecting on Your Future

I genuinely hope you work for leaders who inspire and respect you. However, if you find yourself constantly in conflict with their directives, it’s worth asking if this is the environment where you want to build your career. Each of us has a choice, and that choice should be made carefully, considering not only our immediate needs but also the impact on our integrity and sense of purpose.

Before making any irreversible decisions, take the time to gather all necessary information. Being informed ensures that you’re making a decision based on clarity and truth, even if others around you are not. A leader’s power lies not in their title but in the strength of their convictions.